The Roatan Story

I have found a similarity between living here and our previous lives back in Tampa.  Mark and I spend most of our days apart.  It’s as if we go to our respective jobs, put in 40 hours, and then see each other back home in the evening.  Of course the work we do here is nothing like the jobs we had before and we certainly don’t put in 40 hours, at least I know I don’t!  But because we spend so much time doing separate things, I suggested that we both independently contribute to the chapters of this story, as long as it seems appropriate to do so anyway. Up front, you need to know that my version of the past few weeks is the real truth, since all Mark really does is blow things up or lay in his hammock all day (heehee).  But anyway, here is what he has to say:

The log that Lori kept while we were underway pretty much tells it all, even some I don’t really care to re-live!   Anyway, when we arrived at our dock in Calabash Bight, Lori was chomping at the bit to get back to the USA to meet up with her daughter and drive to meet her parents at their house in North Carolina for New Years Eve. Of course we all know where that left Mark (me) on New Year’s Eve! Actually it wasn’t all bad.  I shot some fireworks off and gave Maggie and Ziggy hugs and kisses.

  The two weeks Lori was gone was a time of introspection for me, giving me time to reflect on our trip and think about what lay ahead of us.

First thing on my agenda was to get the solar panel array up and running, which I did accomplish to a point.

  I followed instructions from the supplier of the panels and the charge controller and I had it all done except for one snafu which was an incorrect connection that left me with no output voltage from the panels. Well, the instructions tell you not to disconnect the solar panel leads while they are under load so needless to say I was up the next morning before the sun and had rearranged the connection to proper leads and viola; with very little sun (it had been raining for two days) the panels were now putting out voltage.  Feeling pretty good about it all I went to the computer to research something about the wind generator.   While I was busy the sun came out and shortly after I heard a pop and smoke came billowing out of the charge controller for the solar panels!  Tons of thick, bad tasting, acrid smoke! Oh man what did I do?! Long story short, I shut the panel feed off and checked the voltage from the panels, 292 volts direct current with full sunlight, way more than the 150 VDC maximum the charge controller could handle.  Looking over the online manual I found that my mistake was following the instructions from the supplier and well, I fried the controller and now have to correct the panel leads one more time.  But now I also have to wait two weeks for a new charger and a capacitor to fix the one I fried, darn it!  Live and learn as they say…..but why me!?!

Next I had to get the WISP or WiFi Service Provider system up and running so I could learn how to set up hotspots, user controls, etc. etc. etc.

  If this sounds complicated, IT IS!  Believe me I am not new to computer systems, but I found that the actual process for setting up the WiFi  was very technical and precise and it didn’t help that the instructions given failed to provide some necessary details and left much for me to figure out on my own.  In my case it took four solid days and I finally got it all sorted out, mostly anyway. So now Calabash Bight has WiFi access and I mean the entire Bight (bay). Later on I moved the unit to the tower I installed for it at the top of our hill. I now realize two things that I should have thought of earlier. The first is that I weigh more than I did a few years ago and the tower wiggles and sways more than it used too, duh. The second is that at age twenty, climbing the towers and hills was not a problem, now at fifty, I get winded and it is a challenge to hang onto the tower with one hand while using the other hand to fasten antennas and radio units.

Who would have thought? Anyway, I am very pleased that this unit is all it was made out to be. You can pretty much open up your laptop and get the signal anywhere in the Bight.  Lori has the accounting setup for the business and now all I have to do is find a spot on a very high ridge to get us out of the hole here and into Oak Ridge and beyond for more coverage. Remember we are surrounded by high hills about 600 to 900 feet. This makes for a nice hurricane hole, but terrible for WiFi to get out!  SO, I am looking into getting a little patch of land on the highest ridge in the area, we will see how it progresses. Please note that I already had the satellite dish up and running before we left. That was a story in itself but you’ll have to email me for details!

Also during everything else, was the lumber list for the Casa LorMar Grande. I had been putting this off for quite a while since it gets complicated and frustrating all at the same time.  I counted all the lumber once and then I went through the house drawings again and recounted every stick to make sure, did I mention this was frustrating?  Finally I finished it. I hope it is at least close to being correct.  I handed the list over to Don, a new acquaintance here, for quoting with his contact in La Ceiba. I should say here that Don and his wife, Yvonne, are great people and have been a lot of help and fun at the same time. The quote came back and I was pleased with the numbers but I had forgotten the sales tax. With this large of a purchase, tax is no small amount! Now I am getting excited again about building this mansion of Lori’s on the hill top. Now I have to decide what type of roof I want on it.  I like the Zinc panel idea as most homes here use it and after all these years they can’t all be wrong.  But on the other hand, they do rust and in the case of aluminum, corrode.  It is an island after all and the air is saturated with salt. What to do? Lori said she like the idea of metal roofing because of the colors and I agree.   Metal roofing is more expensive than shingles but saves on labor and even though labor is relatively inexpensive here, it all adds up.

So now I have another quandary. The Zolitur, or Free Trade Zone, is official now. This means that since we will be involved to some degree in the tourism industry, all of our buildings, maintenance materials, and food stuff are duty free and believe me that is a deal! Tax rate here is 12% but there is no income tax or social security so it isn’t that bad. Kind of like a flat tax deal, the more you spend the more tax you pay. But, the Customs and Zolitur officials want you to list everything you might import over the next three years, with prices!  So, I am doing all kinds of computer work, while frying brain cells, trying to guess what we might import and how much it would cost. Yes I know, it is an exercise in futility but that is what they want. Some day try to think of what you will buy over the next three years, with prices and tell me that it’s easy!

I need to toss a little side note in here. My daily routine does indeed take me away from my wife most of the day but since she works on the boat and I work on the property and the guest house it’s just how it has to be for now.  Most days I spend time from 5:00 am to 8:00 am on the radio checking into the ham and local cruisers nets on the radio while I peck away at the keyboard doing this and that on the computer. Sometimes I actually leave the property to go into town, with and without the kids (Maggie & Ziggy).  When I do leave I have the arduous task of lowering either the Panga (18’ smooth ride boat) or the Gremlin (11’ bounce till your head throbs boat). The Panga weighs more so the Gremlin is easier to lower and raise. That’s why most times the Gremlin wins even though it’s a rough and smaller ride.  It’s a short 1 mile trip through the mangrove channel to Fiddlers Bight then on through Pandy Town into Oak Ridge where we have a parking lot for our truck and a dock for our boat right next to BJ’s bar and grill.

Coming home on the other hand is an adventure in itself due to the fact that the Gremlin’s outboard is very stiff in the pivot and does not come up out of the water very easily.  I have to place my foot on the very edge of the stern to gain leverage and pull up hard during which about 5 gallons of sea water pour in the boat on every pull!  There is no way to get around this as it is too shallow to pull into the boat house with the motor down. So if I don’t manage on the first pull, an additional 5 gallons pour in on each consecutive try. That isn’t so bad since I can easily bail it out, but during this I am also simultaneously trying to back it into the boat house which my “carpenter” made a whole whopping five inches wider than the boat. Yes, five inches, now imagine backing a 11 foot boat into a space that is only five inches wider and your foot is soaked and sliding around in the water (by now 15 gallons), sloshing around inside the boat.  On top of all this, I also have to duck because once again the “carpenter” made it just low enough to knock me senseless (don’t ask me how I know this!).  Ok, now I have the boat backed in and the lift blocks attached. I’ve emptied the water out and I am ready to lift it out of the water. I consider myself lucky if I can accomplish all this without knocking myself out, slipping and busting my ass, or have the winter tide leave me stuck in the muck, one foot short of done. Really it’s fun but sometimes it doesn’t seem so, especially if it’s raining hard and I’m soaking wet.  Would I want it any other way? Not on your life!

You have read earlier where we have learned about the “skilled labor” here and now know that if we want it done our way it’s up to us to do it. We can hire help, but we cannot let them loose on any project without being there as things get done any way but the way you want. I am bracing myself for when I begin to erect the house and have local hired help.   I can already imagine how much of my time is going to be spent showing them several times how I want it done and then arguing with them about why I want it done that way instead of the “easy” way and then doing it all over again the next day. I am seriously thinking about buying tickets for some close friends and put them up here on Roatan to help build the house as I think it would be cheaper and easier in the long run than hiring, firing, educating, training, re-educating, arguing, etc.

Ok, for other projects to date.  We now have our property correctly registered with the Catastro, or local property tax assessor office, after a slight problem I encountered when I attempted to pay the property tax earlier this year. Our property documents are even visible online with the Registro in Tegucigalpa.  Wow!  Things are getting really modernized here in the Honduras!  Lori now has her compost bin and garden area.  I have WiFi up and running as mentioned earlier. The Panga lift system is easier now thanks to a winch that Bob of “Bob’s Hole In The Wall” gave us on our last visit there.

Okay Mark, are you done rambling yet?  People will be snoring long before they get to MY part of the chapter, GEEZ!  I am only kidding of course.  I love this man more than life itself.  The stuff he is able to accomplish (even at the ripe old age of fifty) amazes me daily.  I couldn’t imagine contemplating this move, let alone actually doing it, with any other person.  So, all my little jabs are in fun and you can probably tell, I do enjoy harassing him! 

With that said, I will begin with this bit I was chomping to get back to the States for New Year’s. What exactly is a “bit”?  Is he calling me a horse?  In any case, I don’t recall chomping one.  I was thrilled that we landed in Calabash Bight two days before Christmas as it gave me time to string lights all over the boat and bake some cookies.  When we arrived, all businesses were closed for the holidays so we didn’t have to bother with checking into the country right away.  I did miss very much not spending Christmas with all of our family, but what a laid back, stress free time it was!  We had a wonderful turkey dinner at our close friend Alana’s house, visited briefly with other friends on the island and mostly just kicked back.  We didn’t miss the shopping, wrapping, running from house to house like crazed lunatics, routine at all. Then, one short week after arriving, it was time for my flight back to Atlanta.  The plane headed north and followed the coast of Belize and the Yucatan peninsula.  I gazed out the window and marveled at the thought that it took us more than three weeks to travel by boat along this same route, and now here I was going twice the distance in a few hours. The concept amazed me as I dwelled upon the long journey we had just completed.

I spent two wonderful weeks with family and visiting friends.  My parents have a gorgeous home on Fire’s Creek in Hayesville, North Carolina.  My Mom designed this home and one wall of the family room is glass that overlooks the creek and the mountain beyond.

 I spent a fun (but very chilly) New Year’s here with my parents, my sister and her fiancé, and my daughter.  Then we headed south to Tampa and I hoped towards warmer weather.  Unfortunately, a strong cold front came through and the low was 28 degrees.  I was beginning to miss Roatan very much!  In Tampa, I spent time with my son who was on his Christmas break from college, drove out to see my other sister and family in Orlando, went by the Verizon office to see my old co-workers, and spent the remainder of my time checking off a long shopping list of items I needed to purchase to bring back with me.  One necessity was another suitcase to pack it all in.  Near the end of my visit, I stopped in the mall, just to take in the spectacle of mass quantities of merchandise together with the sights, sounds, and new smell of it all.  In Honduras, I would miss all this but could still manage to live without it (there is still online shopping, you know!).  When it came time to leave, it was difficult to say good-bye to my parents.  They have done so much and continue to do so.  They collect and sort mail that comes for Mark and I, pay some bills, and do chores that are impossible for us to do long distance.  They are wonderful parents and have been very supportive.  I miss them every day (almost as much as I miss my kids!).

So, I did a striptease in the airplane bathroom (not an easy trick in such a small space) and traded my sweater, coat, and long pants for a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops.  I was greeted at the tiny Roatan airport by Mark, Maggie, and Ziggy.  The very nice immigration man said I could stay for 90 days. Hopefully, our residency documents, that Mark has our attorney working on here, will be valid soon and we won’t have to leave the country every three months unless we want to.  Back at the homestead, I spent the first couple of days cleaning the grime that had built up over the previous two weeks by Mark and the dogs.  I still can’t quite figure out how laying in a hammock all day can generate so much filth!

Now for the first time, I was actually living here.  Mark has been here since the beginning of July but I had only visited for a week at a time, sporadically over the last six months.  A year or so ago, friends began asking me what I would be doing in Roatan. This got me to thinking about how I might occupy myself once here full time instead of just being the infrequent vacationer.  But, to start with, when I didn’t really have an answer for this line of questioning, I jokingly said, “Mark is going to make tons of money, so it will be my duty to be the beer drinking bean counter.”  I laughed about it then, but it turns out, this is one of my jobs now.  Understand of course, that I do keep the drinking and the accounting separate.  My philosophy is, if the money ain’t all figured out by 4:00 pm, it can wait until manana ‘cause it’s beer thirty!  Mark mentioned earlier in this chapter that I had set up the business accounting for the WiFi Service (I killed a few brain cells learning Quick Books). What he didn’t tell you is that we currently have two customers and many more interested people calling and asking about it.  Offering wireless internet here, when virtually no one else is, creates exciting possibilities for the growth of our company.  We are both very excited about it.  Other than the WiFi, I also track all of our expenses, both personal and for the upcoming Bed & Breakfast business, the payroll for Darcy and Jose, and for the Gas Station business we are partners in (If this venture ever gets off the ground.  We have been waiting three weeks for our barrels of gas and the drunkard ship captain keeps bringing us kerosene!).  The other activities that consume me on the boat are mainly the domestic stuff.  Cooking and cleaning are fairly standard and don’t bear discussion but I can say a few words about laundry.  Until the house is built, I am burdened with washing by hand in two five gallon buckets. 

  The first time was a thrill but by the second load, I was bored with the task. Mark offered to buy me a clothes wringer on Ebay (what a guy!) but I prefer to remain the martyr and whine about the chore as often as possible.  I don’t really complain that much. I just try to do a little laundry each day (unless it is raining) so it doesn’t devour me.

I can only spend so many days cleaning or sitting in the main salon of the boat (turned into my makeshift office) staring at my computer, and accounting for every last roll of toilet paper we buy.  I start to get antsy and have to get outside!  Here, I will tell you one of the major pitfalls of living in Central America.  There is garbage everywhere!  To give you an idea, I will relay a story as told to me by my new friend Yvonne.  She and her husband are renting a house on the water adjacent to the property on which they are building a home.  They have a beautiful white sand beach and crystal clear water right out their front door.  It is breathtaking.  When I was expelling my woes over trash to Yvonne, she told me she spent a great deal of time keeping her beach clean.  She said that one day, to her horror, as some of the neighborhood children swam, that their very own mother trekked over from her house and dumped bags and boxes of garbage into the water where her children were playing!  For the moment I was stunned by this tale.  But, for whatever reason (one I don’t think I will ever understand), I have come to learn that this is the mentality here.  The ocean is a trash can.  It is so sad.  Our place is surrounded by mangroves that seem to catch and hold every bit of crap that floats near.  And, as wonderful as it is, I am coming to despise plastic.  I spent several days collecting shopping bags, soda bottles, toys, disposable diapers (yuk!), and tons of flip flops (someone in Roatan is missing quite a few shoes!).  I had just finished filling six trash bags and was heading back to the boat, sweaty, tired, and mucked up from wading through the mangroves when I saw a diaper float by.  Geez!  This will be a never ending job!  We pay about $25 a year for trash pick-up.  Once a week we pile everything on the end of the dock and the trash boat comes by. 

  I am glad we have this service as I have been loading them up and it looks like I will continue to do so.

More enjoyable than cleaning up other people’s garbage has been trying to get my own garbage turned into usable dirt.  I am talking about the compost bin that Mark had erected in my honor.  

 Our daily food scraps get dumped into it and I have stirred in lots of grass and dead leaves in hopes of creating something better than the hard clay to start seeds in.  The bin sits high on a steep hill and it is a miracle I don’t break my neck every trip I make up there (I think it will be an easier walk out the back door of my future house).  A little way below the compost heap is the fenced in area for my vegetable garden.  Since my veggie seeds are all packed in my container right now and I don’t have good starter dirt yet, this garden area is now set up as a chicken pen with a little coop and all. 

  Mark hasn’t found the time to go get the chicks from Alana yet but it should be any day now.  Here’s how ignorant I am about chickens.  I told Mark I absolutely did not want a rooster (too noisy!!).  Alana is giving us six newly hatched chicks.  I didn’t realize until I was told yesterday that there is a good likelihood that one or more of the chicks will be a rooster. Oh, duh, what was I thinking?  Anyway, it will be interesting to see how this endeavor unfolds.  Maybe the snakes will get in the pen and eat them all and that will be the end of that.  Wasn’t that a horrible thing for me to say!

I also have spent a great deal of time on my rock walkway. 

 This was actually started by Darcy but I have been widening, leveling, and expanding it.  It leads from the big dock (where the sailboat is) to the guest house and little dock.  There is rock all over the property and I have enjoyed scouting out the perfect pieces for my walkway masterpiece.  I wouldn’t recommend trying to skateboard across it, but I am pleased to report that it is negotiable (unless it is very dark and you are very drunk) without too much trouble.  Along the walkway, are plant boxes Mark built for me.  These are temporary and will eventually be moved to the back of the house.  I brought several varieties of palm seeds with me from Tampa in hopes of starting some new trees here.  At this point, I am disappointed, as I planted seeds in these boxes and have only grown weeds so far.  Mark says I need to be a little more patient but at the same time, he keeps coming home with trees from the nursery.  Seems I am getting mixed signals from him, but the landscape is beginning to shape up some, thanks to him.

Well, I could go on and on just as Mark tended to do. I am sure there are a zillion things we haven’t shared (Oh, like the wasp that freaked me and Mark out because he was the size of a hummingbird, no exaggeration!) but these will be things to tell you about in the next chapter.  I’m sure there will be new and exciting things to report as well.  Every day here truly is an adventure and we are loving every minute of it.