The Roatan Story

Counting Casualties

Lori Writes:

I did not enjoy how I felt about not contributing to the last chapter so decided to make time to write this go around.  I also feel people need more than just Mark’s strange perspective on life in Roatan (Love ya Hun!).  Kidding aside, we have much to share on the progress of the house along with some new oddball experiences and challenges we have faced.   I have been living on the sailboat at our dock in Calabash bight for over a year now and I can honestly say there has never been a dull moment.  I have bug bites, calluses, aches and pains, but at least I forget what boredom feels like!

During the last three weeks of January, while Mark was constructing our back porch (I will let him tell you about that and how this will be the main entrance to our house through our back/front door), I was on my hands and knees sanding all the floors with my little palm sander. Even with a pad on the floor, I now have calluses on my kneecaps which are horrid and I must get rid of!  As Mark wrote in the previous chapter, we had rented a huge floor sander and found it would not work.  So, after a day and forty-five dollars wasted, I got on my hands and knees and breathed pine dust for three weeks. On the bright side, we figured we saved up to three hundred dollars in rental fees.  Maybe I can utilize some of that savings to have my calluses buffed off. 

When the sanding was finally finished I spent two days sucking up all the dust with our shop vac.  Since the wand for this vacuum is in my container somewhere, I found myself once again on hands and knees holding the end of the hose.  When the floor was ready for varnishing, Mark and I had a discussion as I was adamant about two things.  First off, when I varnished the upper loft floor, I used a paint brush and it took me six hours to complete one coat.  We knew using a roller would go much faster but would also leave bubbles in the finish.  Secondly, I refused to do anything again for a very long time on my hands and knees!  We ultimately arrived at a solution that has worked well on the three coats we now have completed on the large front porch (two hours per coat) as well as the entire interior of the house (three hours per coat).  On his hands and knees for a change (Ha!), Mark rolls out the varnish.

Mark in the submissive position

I tied a six inch paint brush to the end of one of our boat poles and can move along behind him “tipping” or smoothing out the bubbles, while standing up!

I’m so good; I can “tip” with my eyes closed

If I do say so myself, I think the floors look outstanding. 

Unfortunately, we have a bat roosting in the rafters of our porch that leaves droppings on the floor.  When we were in the midst of applying the second coat, we accidentally varnished over a small pile of bat poop but hopefully no one will ever notice.  I will be thrilled when this porch is screened and the bats have to hang out somewhere else.

While we were focusing on the floors we had concrete workers outside.  Mark contacted Mario in La Ceiba who was more than willing to come over to Roatan for the job as work is slow on the coast.  Mario is the same Spanish gentleman who built the concrete foundation for our house (Chapter 3). 

Mario (on left) and crew

He and his workers are in the process now of completing the concrete steps that were started two years ago and begin at the big dock and go up to the house.  He will also inset a pad off of these steps, just under the house for a wash down station. When Mark gets around to plumbing we will have a shower head for people to rinse down after snorkeling, diving, etc. and also a hose bib so the dogs can be bathed.  Last of all, Mario will build a concrete pad at the base of the wood steps that come down off the back porch into the yard. 

Ziggy inspecting concrete forms

Pouring the steps

I am pleased with the progress and quality of work so far but absolutely hate having construction workers on the property.  I almost have them trained to put their garbage in a trash bag but some still insist on throwing cans, foil, and plastic in my compost bin or in the yard.  Since Mark speaks Spanish much better than I, he also asked the workers to use the mangroves to go to the bathroom instead of going in the yard.  But, by far the worst result of having these workers here is they have destroyed several trees we planted even though each one was pointed out to them beforehand.  Casualties to date include one Key Lime tree, one palm tree, one Papaya tree, and one banana tree.  I’m sure the death toll will rise before it is all over.  It’s not all bad though.  Since Mario arrived, I have learned a few more Spanish words.  One day when Mark wasn’t here, Mario came looking for a broom and I gave him a shovel.  I now know “escoba” is broom.  I also learned “malo” means bad, which is apparently what I am at understanding him.  I really need to learn the language and I appreciate Mario’s efforts.  Unfortunately, I still say “No comprende” more than anything else!

Another project in the works, and that I am a bit apprehensive about, is obtaining the balusters for the loft and catwalk railing.  When I compromised and agreed to a steel spiral staircase (I would have much preferred one constructed of solid wood but this fantasy was out of our price range.), I insisted on having matching steel balusters for the upper floor.  I believe this will help tie everything together and hopefully the metal stairs (in a wood house) will blend in, instead of standing out like an ugly blemish.  In Chapter 14, I detailed the problem we encountered with the welder who built our stairs. When he delivered them for installation and we found them to be totally wrong, we told him he needed to rip them apart and rebuild them or we would accept them “as is” but withhold the remaining payment we owed him.  Since he never returned to fix them, we obviously assumed he agreed to the “as is” price.  Last week, Mark brought the welder over to show him exactly what we wanted for the balusters so there would be no misunderstandings (yeah, right!).  After an hour of discussion, the welder said he would make the balusters if we paid him the balance owed for the spiral stairs. WHAT?  See ya later buddy!  Luckily, Mark found a metal worker on the coast in La Ceiba who will make them for us.  The reason I am apprehensive is even though Mark sent pictures and detailed diagrams through email, we have not discussed this project in person and I am afraid they will come out wrong. 

I need 31 balusters that match these for the upstairs railing

I used to think that miscommunication came solely from the language barrier.  But after everything Mark and I have been through, I am certain it is more than that.  I can’t quite put a finger on what it is exactly.  The Spaniards just think differently or something.  Sorry to be so vague.  If I ever figure it out, I will let you know.  And if anyone out there has insight into this phenomenon I speak of, please share!

We made another disappointing discovery when Mark was installing the windows.  We had purchased them at Home Depot and shipped in Mark’s container.  Unfortunately, the supplier had wrapped them in plastic and during the time they sat in storage, the vinyl window frames out gassed and caused a thick haze to cover the glass. 

Difficult to capture haze in a photo

I have tried every chemical and acid I can get my hands on but nothing dissolves the haze. Strangely enough what does work is our 3M Marine Cleaner & Wax that I use to polish the fiberglass and stainless on the sailboat.  It is mildly abrasive and cuts through the haze without scratching the glass.  I spent six hours one day and cleaned one window.  It was tedious and tiresome work.  While in Florida, on my puppy smuggling adventure in December, I bought a buffing pad that attaches to Mark’s drill.  With this I spent three hours and have one more window clean.  I only have eleven more windows to go and will probably have more calluses to report when this job is done.

With all the work and activity happening, Mark and I have still found time to socialize and visit with our Calabash neighbors. We even recently discovered a great short cut to Mike and Gail’s.  Their house, aptly named “Mount Calabash”, is situated just west of us but is way up high on a hill.  To visit we normally would have to drop our boat in the water, motor over to their dock, and climb the 199 steps to their place.  But since we are on a little hill ourselves and have received permission from our other neighbor, Roger, to cross his property, Mike had a back gate installed and Mark is in process of putting one up behind our house.  By this route, it is a short leisurely walk to see our friends.  We also all agreed it could come in very handy in case of emergency.  Another friend we have been spending time with is Harman, a part timer from the Florida Keys.  For the past few years he has sailed his boat down in early December and stays until mid February.  He docks his boat on his nearby property while he works on construction of a home there.  This last trip, Harman was kind enough to bring huge PVC dock caps that complete our dock extension.  He saved me a great deal of money in shipping by bringing them on his boat instead.

Harman with dock cap hat

The caps are a great finishing touch

Harman also threw a great party a couple of weeks ago.  Since he has no structure other than a dock at this time, it was out in the open with a big bonfire.  He borrowed a piece of lumber from us and made a make-shift bar by placing the board across his dinghy and stacked tons of booze and snacks on it.  I was glad that Kelly remembered to bring toilet paper for us girls!  We had a great time and we will hate to see Harman depart for Florida in a couple of weeks.

Foreground: Smoke from bon fire Background: Mike, Harman, dinghy bar, Kelly, Carl, Alex & John

Susan (left) relays story to Gail, Lori, & Kelly about how someone broke in her house and stole her dishes

I thought by now I would have run out of odd tidbits of information to impart about living in Bizarro world.  Surprisingly, it seems there is always something out of the ordinary to report.  Of the two items I am going to share, the first is more of an annoyance while the second is just plain weird.  Mark and I have Motorola phones and prepay for minutes through one of the local cell companies, Claro.  Mark also buys minutes from two other companies and has three phone numbers but I prefer to keep it simple and only use the one provider.  Anyway, Claro sends out text messages at all hours of the day and night.  Most are advertisements (in Spanish that I can’t read), but I did get one over the holidays from the president of Honduras wishing me a Merry Christmas (That made me feel special! Ha-ha).  What is so maddening is each message causes the phone to beep loudly. I have been through all the menus and settings on the phone and there is no way to make the beeping stop.  I leave the phone up forward and we sleep in the aft cabin.  Even so, I have been awakened in the middle of the night countless times to the exasperating beeping noise.  If it’s not my phone, then it is Mark’s beeping.  I tried turning my phone off before going to bed but then I forget to turn it on again in the morning.  I just can’t win!  As for the second item, all you potato chip fans planning to visit Roatan, I have some bad news.  Although some of the big brands such as Lay’s are imported, a bag costs more than double what it costs in the States.  And after the long travel and handling you pay for more crumbs than chips.  Also don’t expect to see twenty different flavors as the choice is typically limited to only a couple varieties.  Mark and I splurge on occasion and buy the Lay’s Barbecue and fight over the crumbs.  Also, we experiment once in awhile and buy one of the local brands.  Since I cannot read the Spanish labeling, I purchase based on the artwork depicted on the bag.  Recently I found one with an avocado (or “pear” as they call them here) pictured and thought, “Guacamole chips, yum!”  We opened the bag and each ate one chip, gagged, and fed them to the fish.  On the upside, Frito-Lay manufactures and/or distributes chips here in Central America.  The bag has contact phone numbers for six countries including El Salvador, Costa Rica, and Honduras.  So even though the packaging is all Spanish, we recognize and buy Cheetos and Doritos that are reasonably priced, the chips are intact, and they taste good.  Still, this is Bizarro world.  Mark opened a bag of Doritos the other night and found a packet inside labeled, “Chiz”.  I was immediately suspicious and somewhat revolted.  We laughed and made a few obscene remarks but didn’t open it.  Finally two days later, curiosity got the best of me and I cut it open and squeezed out the contents.  It resembled what our dogs might puke up after eating something that washed up in the mangroves.  I’m sure it is supposed to be some sort of processed cheese dip but I’m not eating it! 

Chiz anyone?

It is not unusual for Mark and me to have several heated debates in the course of a day.  There is so much going on. The house construction, details of domestic life, and the ever present battle over who gets the last Oreo cookie.  A recent struggle was in regard to the dogs.  Mark loves our Spanish Water Dogs as if they were his children and I am happy for that.  However, caring and cleaning up after them is like having a troupe of eight year old boys living with us.  I have lowered my standards somewhat but still could not live in the level of squalor that Mark seems oblivious to and puts up with at the shack, where he and the dogs spend most of the day.   I am already worrying about what they will destroy when we all move into the new house with the nice floors and spotless furniture.  So, when he said we needed a fourth dog, to be an outside, rat killing, watchie man, I almost came unglued.  Mark is a frugal spender for the most part so I argued the expense of adding another dog to the crew.  As with potato chips, decent dog food is pricey here.  Plus the cost of flea, tick, heartworm meds, etc…I also reminded him that it is the nature of a Spanish Water Dog to want and need a sense of duty.  So, for the past week we have experimented with making Ziggy the outside dog during the day and Maggie patrols the property at night.  At this time, Lamb Chop’s only job is to try her best to refrain from peeing on the porch.  I will let Mark detail how this new trial is proceeding.

We receive regular inquiries concerning the weather here.  Rainy season officially ended the first of the year but we still have showers several times a week. While some of this is localized, we do have cold fronts that make it down here and when they do the wind screams through the bight and the rain comes down sideways.  We have experienced a couple chilly nights with temperatures as low as the mid sixties.  We must have acclimated to the tropical climate because if it gets below seventy degrees, I freeze and run for my pants and long sleeved shirt. The weather this time of year also makes for a wonderful growing season.  I have several different flowers in bloom as well as tomato plants, onion, pepper, and green beans thriving. 

Foreground: Heliconia & Red Ginger Background: Yellow Snap Dragon & Red Firecracker

Mark came up with a brilliant way to keep my smaller plants safe from crabs and iguanas.  He cut collars from the eight inch PVC pipe we had left over from the dock construction.  It’s not very pretty to see pieces of PVC around the young plants in the yard but it does deter the local pests.

Attempt to save pepper plant munched on by resident iguana

Alrighty then, I think my conscience is clear now that I have babbled on so long and I need to leave some space for Mark to comment on life as he sees it.  Besides, I need to run up the hill and see if the workers have crushed any more of my precious plants and then go check to see if Lamb Chop has been successful at holding her bladder this morning.  These issues are minor though.  It is another gorgeous day with bright sunshine, a cool breeze, and sparkling water.  I have a hot cup of coffee in hand and fresh Yellow Tail Snapper in the fridge for dinner. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Mark Writes:

Since the house is finally dried in, the next item on my agenda was to make our “door to nowhere” at the back of the house actually go somewhere.  I had visions of a small deck with a decent but not overdone handrail and simple, solid stairs going down to the back yard.  That was until I talked to Lori and found out what I was really going to build and how big it was and learned she wanted a roof too!  To back up a bit, Lori’s original house design had our main entrance door at the front screened porch.  Due to the terrain, this would have required complicated switchback stairs that I thought were both impractical and a possible eyesore.  Some time ago, I suggested we do away with that entrance all together and have the stairs go straight up to the back deck.  Part of my argument was the added security of having only one entrance to the house.  The only drawback I could imagine was exiting the house in case of fire but I even worked out details of how that could be managed if necessary.  So when Lori spelled out her grand plan for the back porch I had to admit it was a good idea seeing as it was our only entrance way to the house.  I just hadn’t counted on that much more work.  Regardless, I pressed on and put together a reasonably good facsimile of what she wanted but have yet to put the rest of the roof on as can be seen in the picture.  

Partial shot of back porch minus the roof

Since we started writing this chapter, Mario has poured the pad at the base of the back steps.

Curb necessary because of slope

He also completed concrete steps to house.

Finished from dock to house

Speaking of the concrete work, at the onset of this job, Mario gave me his estimate for the amount of material that would be required (sand, gravel, rebar, wire, & cement).  I thought his calculations for sand and gravel were a bit high but he assured me, “Necesito Mr. Mark!”

WAY too much sand and gravel!!

He finished pouring all the concrete on the original job and we still had a mountain of sand and gravel.   So now in addition to the wash down station, we are also pouring a pad in front of the tank rooms and the tool room under the house (this additional pad to be located precisely where the mounds are pictured above).  I only needed to purchase a small amount of cement and rebar and will pay a few more bucks in labor to Mario.  I had planned on pouring a pad at this location eventually so it seems things have worked in our favor this time. Of course this work has yet to be completed so I try not to get over confident!

What do concrete, varnish, and dogs have in common?   Nothing except trouble!  If you intend to varnish a floor or pour concrete you had better not have the dogs out and about.  Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way.  Lori had spent a considerable amount of time sanding the main house floor and front porch just like she did the loft floor, on her hands and knees with a little vibrating palm sander.  I know she already mentioned this and yes, I am getting to the point.  When we first began varnishing, I had set a roller pan outside and out of the way while doing some other work.  It had wet varnish in it and I, Mr. Stupid, didn’t think about Ziggy until I saw him in my peripheral vision walking away from the roller pan licking his chops and leaving behind a trail of paw prints.  Not only had he tasted the varnish, but tested it with his paws as well.  I got that cleaned up before Lori saw it and she never noticed.  I felt like such an idiot at the time that I never confessed the incident to her until now (Yes dear I hear you, “You are in big trouble mister!”).  I also should have known better and remembered that dogs and wet concrete spell disaster.  As Lori described, instead of opting for a fourth dog, we have Ziggy and Maggie on a rotation.  Lori thought Ziggy should be the night watchman but I pointed out that Maggie’s brown coloring is difficult to see and it would be less obvious that we had a dog loose to any unsuspecting “banditos” who may trespass after dark.  After a couple of nights, I began to wonder if Maggie was really out making rounds or if she was just laying down on the dock (and job) sleeping.  I got my answer when Mario poured the concrete steps and the pad out back. I had proof positive she was really patrolling the area as her paw prints were in just about every wet area of concrete poured that day!

“Concrete” evidence of Maggie’s nightly rounds of the property

Luckily, Mario patched most of the prints a little later

Also recently, we had a visit from an acquaintance, Tom, and his wife Rochelle from Kenora, Canada.  I met Tom through a mutual amateur radio friend who is also in Kenora.  They visited for a few hours and I enjoyed giving them the grand tour of “Turtlegrass”.  Tom took some wonderful pictures of our place and I wanted to post a few of them here. I had a good time and hope they come again soon!

Gremlin’s boathouse

Mark hanging at the Turtle shack

Beautiful water color picture that Tom created

It has only been two and a half weeks since we posted our last chapter but Lori is anxious to get this one on the site; I suppose to relieve her guilt of being a non-participant last month.  This suits me as I have much work to do and need to get on with it!